Gather round children as your favourite disco Dr sergeant weaves you magical tales of bizarre parasites

Toxoplasmosis- Arguably the coolest-named thing you will ever be host to


#1. Put down that lion that you're chomping on

Felines are known for carrying the infection a lot . But really any kind of meat and water can screw you over as well , so just stay the hell away from everything and all will be well

#2. Be the other 2 thirds of the worlds population
-Up to one third of the world's population is estimated to carry a Toxoplasma infection.

#3. Dont be a baby / carry one around with you
-For most people the disease just stays dormant not making you display any outward symptoms . But people with bad immune systems like children ,oldies, pregnant people and people with H.I.V. can be subject to a whole variety of illnesses all over your body - your lymph nodes , muscles , brain , eyes , nose , nervous system...jeez the list just goes on.

#4 invest in some black market dopamine

Dopamine is awesome ! : It has a direct effect on mood, sociability, attention, motivation and sleep patterns . It's what keeps you sane and normal . Taxoplasy screws with your chemicals and ability to produce dopamine leading to schizophrenia, bipolar disorders, Parkinson’s Disease, Tourette’s syndrome and attention deficit disorders.

(As they do with everything) they tested the disease on mice . For some reason it made them go towards the scent of cats constantly instead of run away -the disease probably made them do this so it could spread .

Also it can kill you ...heed my copy-paste warnings